Lunch

Lunch w a toddler:
Request leftover Chinese food. Eat chicken throw noodles on the floor.
See mom's toast & ham
Lick it, drop it on the floor
Step on it, pick up the ham & eat it
Declare you're full & need to play with playdoh
10 minute later request a smoothie
Ask mom why she isn't eating her toast

Supper

I asked mommy for hotdogs for supper but she made yucky chicken pot pot.
It has chicken, vegables, slimy sauce & bread on top. Bleck! Who likes vegables, slimy sauce & bread? Not me! So I eats the chicken, mush up the rest, pusheded it across the table & asks (mommy here more like demand) a cookie. Daddy says I has to eat 2 bites of supper first. TWO WHOLE REAL BITES!! He feeds me one & I chew it up & spit it out. So he gives me two more. I eats them, mostly & I gets my cookie. I picked all the chocolate out of it & beat the rest up. Then I asks (mommy again: demand) a bath. Mommy looked at daddy smiled, puts her coat on & LEAVED!! She just LEAVED!!! AND she was happy about a it! Daddy didn't look so happy but dat might has been about my cookie.

Mommy Leaved

I asked mommy for hotdogs for supper but she made yucky chicken pot pot.
It has chicken, vegables, slimy sauce & bread on top. Bleck! Who likes vegables, slimy sauce & bread? Not me! So I eats the chicken, mush up the rest, pusheded it across the table & asks (mommy here more like demand) a cookie. Daddy says I has to eat 2 bites of supper first. TWO WHOLE REAL BITES!! He feeds me one & I chew it up & spit it out. So he gives me two more. I eats them, mostly & I gets my cookie. I picked all the chocolate out of it & beat the rest up. Then I asks (mommy again: demand) a bath. Mommy looked at daddy smiled, puts her coat on & LEAVED!! She just LEAVED!!! AND she was happy about a it! Daddy didn't look so happy but dat might has been about my cookie.

Monsters in my room

There were monsters in my room last night. I got way scared. Mommy came in to fix it but then she left and I figured it was safest to sleep the rest of the night (mommy note: she came in at 12:30, I'd been asleep 2 hours) in her bed. One can't be too careful when it comes to monsters.

Toddler for Sale

I got up early again & have been in what mommy calls mischief mode. I don't think mommy slept great last night but I don't understand why. I slept awesome in her bed.  I just had second breakfast and she's already mentioned gypsies, adoption & eBay. I might have to call grandma for back up.

Cookie Dough

 I helpeded (mommy here: distracted is a better term) mommy make cookie dough. She left half the sugar out. The dough on the spoon I stole tasted yummy so maybe no one else will notice either but if they do I'll eats all those cookies.

Supper Smiles

I asked mommy for hotdogs for supper but she made yucky chicken pot pot.
It has chicken, vegables, slimy sauce & bread on top. Bleck! Who likes vegables, slimy sauce & bread? Not me! So I eats the chicken, mush up the rest, pusheded it across the table & asks (mommy here more like demand) a cookie. Daddy says I has to eat 2 bites of supper first. TWO WHOLE REAL BITES!! He feeds me one & I chew it up & spit it out. So he gives me two more. I eats them, mostly & I gets my cookie. I picked all the chocolate out of it & beat the rest up. Then I asks (mommy again: demand) a bath. Mommy looked at daddy smiled, puts her coat on & LEAVED!! She just LEAVED!!! AND she was happy about a it! Daddy didn't look so happy but dat might has been about my cookie.

Snacks

Tales from a Toddler, in pictures:

Mommy was busy with baby Elephant so I getted myself a snack

A word from Mommy

Mommy here: Sometimes rather than fight w the toddler about bedtime I just want to let her run & see how long it would take her to pass out & where she'd end up sleeping.

POOP!!!

Daddy thought since I did so awesome at Sam's that I could try big girl underpants. I was coloring & then there was PEE!!! So I ran to get new underpants & I tooted but it wasn't a toot! There was POOP!!!! Poop!! On my legs!! Ewwwww!! 
Guess I wasn't ready.

Sam's Club Surprise

Went to Sam's club. I looooove Sam's club on Saturday, so many snacks!!! I make sure we stop for all of them. I had a big surprise for mommy. I taked my diaper off before we leaved. Mommy didn't find out until she pickeded me up to put me in my car seat. Mommy saided diapers are not toptional when we leaves the house. But I told her it's ok because I not peed.

Timeout

Actual conversation with the 2 year old
Toddler: 'every time mommy puts me in my chair for timeout I poop!' 
Daddy: 'why do you do this?' 
Toddler: 'bc it gets me out of timeout fast!'

Busted in the Bathroom

I hunted the whole house for my big brother bear. 'Bear! Bear! Where are you?' I heard him hollar to me that he was on the moon. Then I find him. He was not on the moon. He was on the toilet and in a mood. I love the pocket doors on the bathroom. 😂🚽

STOP!!! STOP!! STOP!!!!!

Mommy has used the word 'STOP' so many times this week that it's lost all meaning. No seriously what does it mean & why does she keep saying it at increasingly loud volumes?

Mommy's looking for Chocolate

I've been up since 5:45, the sun wasn't even shining but I knew I needed a Popsicle. Mommy said no & made me eat cereal. 
Mommy has that weird thing going on with her eyes, where they look 2 different ways at once & has put my sassy, saucy butt in time out a million and two times already. I think I'm posed to stop doing something screaming? Screeching? Saying no? I don't know, it's hard to member things when you gets up before the sun. 
I'm playing nice with my babies for now but only to avoid taking a nap. A really great melt down is coming prolely before lunch. 
Mommy keeps looking for chocolate & talking about running away or hiding. I'll totally find her if she hides.

Helpful?!

I've been super helpful today. I feed elephant. He didn't seem to enjoy having the bottle put in his nose or ear but he's little so I'm sure he'll like it soon. I brushed my teeth. The bathroom sink looks & smells great!! I put my shoes on myself, it took 25 minutes & mom turned fun shades of purple waiting on me. Then I emptied the diaper bag right before we needed to leave just to make sure we had everything. I know mommy filled it but sometimes she forgets things. Like today there was only 1 bag of fruit snacks which isn't nearly enough. I'm glad I told her that as I ate them. I'd hate to not have enough fruit snacks.